~Life is beautiful~

The morning comes with its beautiful colours, each dawn showing a picture of magic in reality but i stay in my bed dreaming of me lost in the tangles of an unknown world to suddenly wakeup.

The birds chirp on the lucky and scatterd few trees and sing a song of joy that doesnot reach my brain. I am lost in the worry of planning my day. I get ready and have my breakfast with a quick glance at the newspaper that speaks of corruption and terrorism. The temple in my house gets a glance from the corner of my eye and i don't wait to fold my hands and connect to him or myself. I run down the stair and sit in the car and then travel by the train to college. I am busy to the world but in truth i am running just running to nowhere.

In the class i dun take a minute to feel the breeze from the window on my face, this wind might have blown from the mountains and hills and the valleys of great rivers that i write in my essays as places i want to visit. The drops of rain fall down on to the earth and seep inside the soil, they leave behind an aroma, the only smell of nature i can identify but they don't quench the thirst in me, i am not satisfied Then i walk back to the station ignoring the beggars by the roadside, seldom i give them alms and i make my way through plastic bags and gutka wrappers, cigratte stubs and red stains of paan to see a child wailing in the arms of a lady busy arranging articles she will sell.

The train, noise, smoke in the traffic and roses being sold, glittering butterfly clips, ganpati bapa on politic posters, waterfalls on chartpapers... It all goes by and i keep running to reach nowhere. Money and fun.. Thats what my age call life. Pendrives and cellfones is what we own. 'Values' and 'integrity' are words from the dictionary used to describe all we dont have. A scream, a shout, and a sudden blow of guilt hit me and go! Like waves of the ocean that touch the shores and wash things away. How I loved those colours, in my painting class... yellow ochre and cobalt blue for the sand and the sea. I once bought a bracelet of those colours...the blue n ochre shells and then in the mad rush of the train the very first time i wore it, it broke and scatterd and people stepped on my favourite coloured shells. I made a face and walked away!

I don't knw how much should i try, if i should to tell myself i'l be there when i put a screensaver of a scenic beach on my pc and smile. Life is now and it passes this is how... People and problems, movies and magzine, suddenly and slowly all of them fade away... Life is beautiful....it was always and it will be....
i wish however i stay alive to live! :

~Love~

Love! Such a strong word. Its activates and tunes antennas of people wheneva pronounced. However to me Its a word i associate to a completely diffrnt emotion. You see There r smiles and laufter which are good. There are tears and frowns the bad ones and there is love. Its may be like a state of mind similar to when you drink... You are in a different world.. And ur senses don't work! I ain't sure of my words however coz i hav experiencd neither.

Then again, i am certain Mom loves me is good. Its considrd pure. Cindrella's prince falls in love with her is so beautiful but when it comes to boyfriend loves girlfriend in your teens... The elder generations has frowns on their faces and a feeling of disgust in their eyes. It ain't equally good for them i suppose? I wonder just exactly why?

There was a time In school to be frank, when i was my mumma's good girl, it was ethically wrong for me too to have a bf or gf.
Now its not. My very very good friends have bf/gfs and its totally cool. I love listening to how they met, how they meet now and bout gifts, cards and valentines day!
From dependence in family to independence in friends we move on to interdependence and so on. Whatever it is... Friends are life for me and ditching them for one person i ain't sure may dump me when.. Lieing to family and breaching their trust is something i ain't being able to convince myself is right! Relations shouldnot be degraded! Friendship shouldnot be insulted. Go have a relation but break his friendships and spoil yours.. Is so uncool. Really! How can u fall in depression when she says no and how can you tell him our secrets without my consent X-( love in teens... Maturity VS insanity! EI VS stupidity! Its irritating when people who dun even knw wot love is claim to have fallen in love. And they spoil everything. Even the name of love. Suicides and jealousy and depressions. It sucks. And worst of all they act as murderers of friendships. Love is nice! I hope i fall in love with a nice guy someday but seriously i have always been tot in true relations u are not asked to choose between two people you like and respect. If that is happening somethng is wrong. Pls dun lie to ur friends or break der trust, it is pukka pukka not worth it!

Take care and dun finish yourself for woteva reason. Dun let ny1 hurt you. Go fall in love... but dun lose urself. God bless u and all the friendshp dat u'll try2 ditchky marofy in love or wotever. :P

Keep smiling =)