Randomness Explored

~Life is beautiful~

2009-08-09T05:44:00.000-07:00

The morning comes with its beautiful colours, each dawn showing a picture of magic in reality but i stay in my bed dreaming of me lost in the tangles of an unknown world to suddenly wakeup.

The birds chirp on the lucky and scatterd few trees and sing a song of joy that doesnot reach my brain. I am lost in the worry of planning my day. I get ready and have my breakfast with a quick glance at the newspaper that speaks of corruption and terrorism. The temple in my house gets a glance from the corner of my eye and i don't wait to fold my hands and connect to him or myself. I run down the stair and sit in the car and then travel by the train to college. I am busy to the world but in truth i am running just running to nowhere.

In the class i dun take a minute to feel the breeze from the window on my face, this wind might have blown from the mountains and hills and the valleys of great rivers that i write in my essays as places i want to visit. The drops of rain fall down on to the earth and seep inside the soil, they leave behind an aroma, the only smell of nature i can identify but they don't quench the thirst in me, i am not satisfied Then i walk back to the station ignoring the beggars by the roadside, seldom i give them alms and i make my way through plastic bags and gutka wrappers, cigratte stubs and red stains of paan to see a child wailing in the arms of a lady busy arranging articles she will sell.

The train, noise, smoke in the traffic and roses being sold, glittering butterfly clips, ganpati bapa on politic posters, waterfalls on chartpapers... It all goes by and i keep running to reach nowhere. Money and fun.. Thats what my age call life. Pendrives and cellfones is what we own. 'Values' and 'integrity' are words from the dictionary used to describe all we dont have. A scream, a shout, and a sudden blow of guilt hit me and go! Like waves of the ocean that touch the shores and wash things away. How I loved those colours, in my painting class... yellow ochre and cobalt blue for the sand and the sea. I once bought a bracelet of those colours...the blue n ochre shells and then in the mad rush of the train the very first time i wore it, it broke and scatterd and people stepped on my favourite coloured shells. I made a face and walked away!

I don't knw how much should i try, if i should to tell myself i'l be there when i put a screensaver of a scenic beach on my pc and smile. Life is now and it passes this is how... People and problems, movies and magzine, suddenly and slowly all of them fade away... Life is beautiful....it was always and it will be....
i wish however i stay alive to live! :

~Love~

2009-08-09T05:39:00.000-07:00

Love! Such a strong word. Its activates and tunes antennas of people wheneva pronounced. However to me Its a word i associate to a completely diffrnt emotion. You see There r smiles and laufter which are good. There are tears and frowns the bad ones and there is love. Its may be like a state of mind similar to when you drink... You are in a different world.. And ur senses don't work! I ain't sure of my words however coz i hav experiencd neither.

Then again, i am certain Mom loves me is good. Its considrd pure. Cindrella's prince falls in love with her is so beautiful but when it comes to boyfriend loves girlfriend in your teens... The elder generations has frowns on their faces and a feeling of disgust in their eyes. It ain't equally good for them i suppose? I wonder just exactly why?

There was a time In school to be frank, when i was my mumma's good girl, it was ethically wrong for me too to have a bf or gf.
Now its not. My very very good friends have bf/gfs and its totally cool. I love listening to how they met, how they meet now and bout gifts, cards and valentines day!
From dependence in family to independence in friends we move on to interdependence and so on. Whatever it is... Friends are life for me and ditching them for one person i ain't sure may dump me when.. Lieing to family and breaching their trust is something i ain't being able to convince myself is right! Relations shouldnot be degraded! Friendship shouldnot be insulted. Go have a relation but break his friendships and spoil yours.. Is so uncool. Really! How can u fall in depression when she says no and how can you tell him our secrets without my consent X-( love in teens... Maturity VS insanity! EI VS stupidity! Its irritating when people who dun even knw wot love is claim to have fallen in love. And they spoil everything. Even the name of love. Suicides and jealousy and depressions. It sucks. And worst of all they act as murderers of friendships. Love is nice! I hope i fall in love with a nice guy someday but seriously i have always been tot in true relations u are not asked to choose between two people you like and respect. If that is happening somethng is wrong. Pls dun lie to ur friends or break der trust, it is pukka pukka not worth it!

Take care and dun finish yourself for woteva reason. Dun let ny1 hurt you. Go fall in love... but dun lose urself. God bless u and all the friendshp dat u'll try2 ditchky marofy in love or wotever. :P

Keep smiling =)

HATE IT

2009-07-24T23:26:00.000-07:00

You start every morning with an optimistic attitude that today is going to be nice. Not all days stand true to what you want them to be obviously, but somedays leave me irritated to the extents, days where i can take no nonsense, not even, 0.0005%, days i actually can't stand some familiar faces, i call them 'the hate days'

On hate days nothing annoys me more than people critising me. I hate going wrong, remember my previous blog *i am sorry* First nobody helps on their own, always make me ask for help, with the risk that some them will just say no to help, and then when I am in the middle of some problem, worried…tell me k 'tu udasi ki dukaan hai'... Teri toh aisi ki taisi!!

I hate it when people tell me, 'rehne de, tujhe se nahi hoga'! I hate aunties telling me, how i should behave with my mother, or when they remind me of the sacrifices my mother has made for me. Why can't aunties-- extras MTOB (mind their own buisness)

i hate it when i am in the middle of telling something important and you catch a wrong prouniciation or a grammar error or a double meaning n start laufing like a fool, i swear it is very pissing off at times, my sister does it, some of my friends do it. Yes you obviously need people to correct you, but not in the middle of anything and everything!

I hate my birthdays. I seriously HATE my birthday! Y??? I can't explain everything here.. But the last thing i look forward to would be MY birthday! X-P *phbbtt...

I hate it when you don't do things on your own and find mistakes in the way i do them.
And finally I hate these hate days coz i hate the word 'hate' it hurts in every way! :(
hate days are days i behave in a very irrational way. I don't think or understand. I expect you to behave like i want, which as mentioned so many times before is bakwas!

*sigh* today was a hate day….everything seemed wrong!
But…..i love life :P : :D

In my mind

2009-07-11T23:07:00.001-07:00

As I still walk through the streets around my house, my mind always (yes sir, always) is in thoughts of these places being visited by me, a few years later, and the satisfaction I am waiting to achieve by being someone worthy by then. Me not being successful, but very very successful!

I don’t value the opinions of the masses about things I do. The crowd is definitely not amongst the people I respect, but still there is a fire in me to show the crowd, how I came and conquered. That’s a dream…the struggle-- my life is for!

I am amongst the people, who needs just a roof on the head, food for survival and freedom for my thoughts and actions! Each time I am with my colours and canvas, I am super happy. But what I decide to achieve is, power in this birth… so that I can contribute, so that I can be satisfied with the amount I want to give now, but cannot till I become someone who posses a lot, someone powerful!
Someone right, someone good. I wish my being there makes a difference in the life of people around me!

emotional attyachar!

2009-07-04T06:13:00.000-07:00

Ever been hurt by someone who you really cared for.. i have.....and it hurts a lot! :(

Its really bad--the feeling! ouch...

There is something i learnt lately however, that i want to share.....

We humans are responsible (response+ able). we have the response-ability to the situations around us. we cannot change others to a great extent most of the times, but we can....choose our response....and this thought helped me bring so many realisations! all people are good, like i always say, and all of them are different! each individual doesnot react to the same situation as you would. and it is so silly expecting them to do so. when we wish others to understand, we must first ourselves be understanding to their situations! happpiness is something we all want, and we and just we are responsible for our happiness! thats dat! how smart is it, to leave your happiness, which is the reason you do all the struggle in your life, at the mercy of others?

if somebody speaks well to me...i'll be happy!

if someone doesnot act like he cares....i cry.... i feel so bad.....what a big fool am i?

there is no sense in me wasting my energy and moments of my life that are never to return sulking over things not worth sulking! : its not about what others are not doing! or what others should be doing....its all about how i choose to react to the situations given to me......

i can complain today to friends....call some1 insensitive or unreasonable....but thats so wrong! I m failing to give a proper reaction, and blaming others for not being caring and hurting me is rubbish! nobody can hurt me till i permit them too on an emotional level, be it my relative, my colleague, society or even my friends!

It is important to be proactive! I and just I am responsible for my self and all that happens to me! :)

so...yey! i m happy........... this realisation means a lot to me....

hope this does sound meaningful to you too

take care

keep smiling

you r responsible! :D

~extras~

2009-07-04T05:04:00.000-07:00

We live in a society...so we keep bumping into many people every now and then..... A few of these people form the group we like...few others form the group we don't....and these are the ones we like to give most our attention to! :) but that happens with a lil difficulty due to another group pf people called *the extras*
we have aunties and uncles and people of our age and those younger to us....all come together to form this group of people who incessently keep speaking crap on us, about us, keep suggesting, keep advising! i hate dem! X-P

i dunno why people love watching others fall in problems, they enjoy the struggle of others more than their own work, such people are the ones i find really irritating! i hate people who enjoy tamashas on the expense of any body elses misery! if a road accident or even a small tiff in two individuals on the street happens, there are hardly few who get involved and help sort the matter but many other who just stand and stare,,,,,,"arre, baap re, pata hai uss admi ne usse inni galiya di" for god sake apna kaam karo, why this behaviour?

then there are the homely extras...aunties and uncles born in the world with one mission.....disturbing you....if you do good, they have an issue in their heads, yet come praising you, and addressing you like they have been your mentors and you have paid their efforts behind the success you achieved! when i was in school and whenevr i won a contest or cem first in exams...these extras come and start pestering....."beta, mummy ko bolo party de" you want it go and ask my mom, stop wasting my time! when i slogged through the night did you stay up with me, party....my foot! paise jhaad pe ugte hai?

the next part....it would not have even been such a big issue had these extras stopped at just this... success and failure which are opposites strike everyone! in times you have done well, the extras keep praising you, and make you as examples to their kids ( i really pity kids whose parents expect them to be like sum1 else than just being them selves, such parents who do not respect the indiviuality of their kids are so not cool! it different asking sum1 to be inspired from an other person and its different to kepp making sh*tty comparisons between two different people!) and if you don't do well they disturb you even more....

each SSC or HSC student is troubled unnecessarily by neighbours, relatives and other available extras to tell them,....beta this year ka hardwork is gonna make your life...bullsh*t! i scored very good percentage in both 10th and 12th and i dun think those scores did help me evolve in life in any way! chill people take a break! if you feel like advising so much...start writing a blog....jus dun trouble the ones around you!

yes we live in a society and its really good caring for others and helping each other, but advise should be given when asked for....be compassionate, show empathy and sympathaise..........plz dun act like annoying extras!

take care
keep smiling! :)

*p.s. i hope this blog is smaller :P

an apology!

2009-07-04T05:01:00.000-07:00

you kno i love talking....so i love writing as well...since the blogs are getting a lil longer....i wanna say i m sorry i'll try my best to keep them short and sweet...thanks for the suggestion :)

take care
keep smiling!

give a chance

2009-07-03T23:47:00.001-07:00

You study and then work, to earn a livelihood; you eat, you sleep to rest. You make contacts with people, you socialize. You talk, you share! You live life. You love yourself, the people around you! You love your house, your cell phone, your car…You save, you value and you live life! You cherish your memories, the moments that passed, where you enjoyed, where you were happy. You treasure, you collect….you do everything to be happy….one day you DIE
Everything that you protected and valued stays back. Your struggle in life, your love, your hatred, your likes and dislikes, matter no more! You become past, past that is never to return…you live in just memories….
Heard of murders for money? Property disputes? Leave that… how many times have you made your conscience silent as you do something you know is wrong? But you still do it because you think it is necessary? Simple gestures of helping someone, when you got no hidden benefit. Getting a smile on someones face…may not earn you material things, but it fetches you something farr more important—‘respect’! How long will we kill and die because of the statement ‘tit for tat’? How long will we hold grudges? Till wen will we learn the importance of forgivness? When we learn life beyond survival!*sigh* Take a break yarr! you got a voice inside you, sometimes listen to it. It is not stupid to listen to ur heart! The most beautiful things in life are linked to ur heart! I got a fren ho says mera dil toh sirf blood pump karta hai on this! J theres more to the heart dan pumping blood for sure…..or feeling and emotions wudn b der K
There is no harm in living a lavish life! Working hard and spending like you want then, your money, something that you have earned! Nothing wrong in being a bit selfish till ur selfishness doesnot harm any1 or til ur selfishness doesnot make you forget the quality of helping others! Nothing wrong in saving infact it is wise to save for your future…but while you do all this it is a sin if you use any1 and then throw them away from your life! Never say ‘mein aapko jaanta hu?’ to a person who has supported you in your times of need and for the right reason ofcourse! It’s a sin to cheat someone, who has trusted you….its a sin to backstab….common yarr.. its not done!
We may get all what we could dream of in life! And this should be awesome till you know you are worth it and your comfort has not cost any other person pain! We may say what happens to others is none of our business! We may call somelse stupid for not being like you when you are at the top, but jus remember every dog has his day! Today if you are strong you could help sum1, tomorrow if you need help, I promise god shall do justice! Remember finally we gotta leave! That there will be an end!
Papa says ‘all of us are good, its only that sometimes our interests clash!’ I ask you can’t we still stay in our limits? Problems come to all….but the way we handle it makes a difference! How can we let ourselves turn into demons from humans at such times? Did God make us homo-sapiens or the wise man so that we become the most dangerous species alive on earth? So that we roam like blood thirsty animals to show how we can hate, how revenge is what we want! How we can prove we are no less!
Did you ever think… why has the world changed so much today..that we need classes for things like moral values? Why make the stress so huge that you need psychiatrists or rehabilitation centers? What is the sense? We are so weird…instead of changing ourselves, instead of thinking we wait for heros to get a change! Why? Arre kyuki mere akele se kya hoga? Koshish toh karo… bappu bole the ‘be the change you want to see!’
I know survival of the fittest is the law of the nature and this is exactly what I want to remind you my friends! Fitteset is the one who has a healthy mind, body and soul….try killing your soul and surviving and you will know what I m trying to put thru!

Mountains fall and seas divide before the one who in his stride…takes a hard road day by day, Sweeping obstacles away! Believe in yourself and in your play! Say not I cannot but I can. The prizes of life we fail to win because we doubt the power within!

GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE! THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG IN BEING GOOD! JUST GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE!
TAKE CARE! J

of predicting future

2009-06-19T23:35:00.000-07:00

It is believed that this is a science….they call it astronomy! Studying the orbits of celestial bodies, and their gravitational effect on the liquids of our body that can influence our behavior in a particular way! :-S
Well I dunno, for I haven’t studied it, and I really dunno how deep or shallow the science goes, but whatever it is….theres one thing for sure…its interesting and it amuses me….

You believe it or don’t, horoscopes do attract many, for even as I say I don’t believe the stooped newspaper daily horoscopes, I love to read what it has to say about me, and then at the end of the day if I do remember what the morning newspaper did say…I try to analyise of how the things that were predicted did not turn true, hehe…how silly of them, and of people who believe in them, and of the ones that did become true were mere coincidences! But most times I don’t even get to do that….
Coz the 4half printed lines speak of abstract crap like, take care of your health,(I try hell hard, but damn I just don’t fall sick, I m so full of thoughts soo many times that head-aches go unnoticed, what take care of your health? I will still eat the amount of junk food I eat on a usual day and still go on….) finances will not be very good, pay attention to the needs of elders (this ppl is soo silly, we learn it in school, and elders must always be taken care of, irrespective of the every alternate day the line appears in the paper),listen to your colleagues and be patient, do not take any important decision until you have all the hidden details or romantic relations will undergo some tense moments (damn, I m single, you wasted one line)….and so on…. :p
See what I mean!
There are a lot of people who try to predict our future, be it tarot cards, or crystal balls, palmistry, numerology…..the list goes on! They may be true to some extent also, but the ultimate truth is, if god wanted us to know our future, he would have made us all psychic, but that’s not true right? so work hard, believe in yourself, in your right efforts lies your true success! I have friends who are really superstitious, infact I have quite a many relatives too who believe in these things to a very great extent! They tell me, I don’t understand….yaa I don’t really understand the confusion of belief here….. our human mind is very powerful, and it lies to a great extent in the sub-conscious zone…so what we believe is right our mind makes sure to mould our vision to see what we believe!

Chill na people, just live life as it comes, there lies the fun…. Don’t get so blind by illusions to hurt yourself and others around you! please think to reason out! U can, its not tough! Good luck ;) everything happens for the best…so you actually always do keep a good luck! You are prestigious to someone….thats soo lucky!
Take care and keep smiling! =)

sms blast

2009-06-04T10:54:00.000-07:00

Akela Ja Raha Th Jeevan Ke In Kathin Rasto Pe,
Niraash
Dukhi
Thaka hua
Fir Ek Mod Pe
Aap Jaisa Dost Mila
or
Baaki Zindagi Ki Bhi watt lag gayi...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Banta:
Truck dekh-kar tum kaampte kyon ho?!
Santa:
Ek truck driver meri biwi ko lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vaapas karne aaya hai!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.

Zindagikuchpalkimaisekehtahonahodtamlotmagtnwamjaamajabehmtotogapy.
Nahi padha ja raha na,
Forward kar do,
Kitni baar kaha h
Ki
Tension lene ka nhi,dene ka..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dont run ahead of God,Let Him direct ur steps.He has plans & He has time.God's clock is never early nor late.It alwys strikes on time.
HAVE A NICE DAY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( ', ' )>
<( ) 80kg
J L

(,' ')>
<( )60kg
J L

(,")30kg
<) (>
JL

()10kg
<)(>
JL

Kya se kya
ho gaye hum
aapke SMS k intzar me.

sms-blast

2009-06-04T10:52:00.000-07:00

Delhi
Ke
Paas
Ke
Nizamuddin
Railway Station
Ki
Train No. 6162
Ke
Route
Ke
3rd Station
Bharatpur
Ke
Ek Chote
Se
Gaon
Ke
Nazdeek
Wale
Kabristaan
Ke
Chowkidar
Ki
Kabar
Pe
Baithe
Huye
Kutte
Ki
Aage
Wali
Right
Side
Ki
Taang
Ki
Tisri
Ungli
Ke
Nakhoon
Ke
Paas
Chhupe
Huye
Chichar
Ke
Pait
Mein
Rehne
Wale
Bacteria
Ke
Chromosomal
DNA
Ke
Thymine
Nucleotide
Ki
5th
Carbon
Ke Outer
Shell
Ke
4th
Electron
Ki
Kasam,

Sirf Disturb Karne K Liye MSG Kiya Hai.

~my fe electronics~

2009-06-04T02:00:00.001-07:00

I knew SARDAR PATEL INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY, was a big name! I knew getting admission there was really tough! I tried and got in. Andheri, not bad! Travelling 30kms from home to college, back home, exciting, felt like a dream because I had never experienced it before! My world was just my home, and may be it extended till the area from there to Shivaji park! Local trains were things I knew existed on the news! I was not even accustomed properly to travelling in buses! Yes, I had lived in Mumbai all these years, but my world was really protected, I knew at a call, my parents could come and help me, anywhere, anytime! Now there was a new world open, a new place to venture! My new life—that supposedly is the best phase of your life, people say! My college life!

I learnt many new things from my college life of this one year, and I know the coming years will get more experiences! Of all I received, I value one thing the most that’s my college friends!! I cannot emphasis how important my friends have been in the whole year! In being by me as my support, helping create a comfort zone, everything yarr, its too much to list…All of them they are simply awesome!

Train travelling was an adventure for me, seriously, I would get so amused each day! Local trains rock! And so does my train gang, Nihal, Ushma, Deepa, Yash and me! My day in college would begin calling these guys up standing on dadar station, boarding the train and discussing current news, arguing and fighting, sharing stories, gossips, bitching about people and going on and on! It never even felt like travelling this far was a difficult thing! The problems and events, difficulties in travelling everything that we saw later was never a major issue, because of being together, being the gang, awesome gang we are!

I was one impatient, I still am, fool….who could get tensed by the silliest of things! I would cry on the drop of a hat, and feel so bad for anything wrong! Now I have learnt to chill, and I m so happy for that! I have never had any friends like my college frens, they are all so different…but one thing that completely rocks about them is they have beautiful hearts, all of them are very nice people, thank god for that! Yes, the level of thinking varies, but atleast we listen to each other! Yes, at times, we don’t receive the expected behaviours, yes there were times, things were not available as wanted, but regardless of the differences in nature, attitude, there was never a time, we left anybody! Never when we did not hear each other out, we heard explainations, as well as complains, our thoughts, our point of view, and we always took efforts to understand and bond! What I learnt are simple things, by hanging around with them, but they have really helped me evolve, in a way and also its jus coza the times my new classmates got on to my nerves, I realized my high-school friends were gem of people! ;)

Friends don’t thank, for being friends, so all I wanna say is I value a lot my classmates! My tronics batch! Tronics rocks!!!!!!! And we’ll kepp rocking!!! Hail tronics! So glad to be a part of th group! =)

~desi gal~

2009-06-04T01:59:00.000-07:00

Heya!
I wanted to write on domestic violence in Indian homes. Something that I am strictly against and despise from the bottom of my heart, this is sad and even as we say India has progressed a lot today, domestic violence is something that still happens in many homes! I realize this topic is serious, and needs some research.. I will shortly write something on the same but for the time being…
Here is, something …..err…something you can read (well if you want to X-P) :D

*My desi gal*

The thinnest book in d world should be- 'What men know about women!' goes a famous joke! I don’t really know what men actually know about women, or if women are really from Venus and men from Mars, but there is one thing I know for sure about most women, what drives them is love, either love for someone, or the love they receive by someone! And amongst all the women of the world, a group which stands out all different and very beautiful is that of the Indian women or my desi gals!
Indian women are unmatched, in their capacity to work hard, to smile and tolerate, accept things, act as family binders, being the support systems of their families, being excellent in fulfilling their responsibilities, understanding situations, suppressing own feelings for others happiness, acting as never identified heros and the list just goes on…..

Given a crowd of people, you can identify a general Indian individual from it, for we Indians are quite, different people all together.
Our Indianess is blended in our blood, and our behavior reflects it too well. May be this is because, civilizations have existed here, since ages….and the culture developed on the Indian land too deep, and highly meaningful, it has experiences of ages compounded in the teachings, and value system lies embedded in the way we live life! Indian women are no exception! WE all know, India was once a land with great discriminations on the basis of caste and creed, on the basis of gender too, (sadly such discrimination, exist in many parts of India, today also) we had rules of not educating women, purdha, sati, and many more such sad and disappointing customs….the revolution that came during the independence struggle of our brought in a new hope, and from there to now, we have progressed to have quite some positive changes! But there is a lot more to capture still and we are moving towards change for sure!

Life of women in villages is still to change a lot, but if you speak about the city gals….we still are a fabulous blend of modernity and culture. There are many changes still required, but what today we have is definitely better than what we had 100 years back!
Indian women, however educated and established they get have a beautiful charm as they maintain and respect the limits, there is softness with strength. Determination and dedication, Respect is given and dignity maintained well! Forgiveness and sacrifice, are qualities that not many people understand how important, and even few posses them, I have seen endless examples of both these virtues in Indian women! True greatness is when you are the true leader, harmony creator, problem solver and still you act as you are so nothing. You take the anger of your family members, share your seemingly unnecessary tears with friends, and move on, you smile at the joys of loved ones, give more than your capacity, you complain, expect, get dejected for not getting what you did expect, feel bad, and then go and give people more than they deserve again ,forgive and forget for the sake of each other that is my desi gal!

Ghar ki lakshmi (the reason for your wealth, success and prosperity), she is Saraswati(the goddess of knowledge), she is kali (the destroyer of evil), she is durga (the protector, a mother, the caretaker), she is Annapurna (the one who feeds you).
Being related to an Indian women is something so fortunate, and being one yourself is even more better and I am so proud of being one! =)
Dekh lakh lakh pardesi gal, ain't nobdy like my desi gal! :)

~my desi gal~

2009-06-02T04:40:00.000-07:00

Heya!
I wantd 2 write on domestic voilence in indian homes. Smthn i m strictly against and dspise 4m d botm of my heart, bt i realise d topic is serious, nds sum research n mst importantly i fl i'l get 2influncd by d topic dat i may b unfair n 2harsh on men so 5n chuck dat 4nw here is a post on sum1 i admire...
P.s. 4gv me if i sound influncd by d upr topc dat is stil in my head, coz d spcfd topic cn piss me of 2d greatest xtent! X-P

*My desi gal*

The thinnest book in d world shud b- 'wot men knw bout women!' goes a famous joke! Wel i dun knw wot men realy knw bout women bt i knw 1thng, dr is nthn dat cmplx bout women, indian women especially...1nce u realise all dat dy nd, n care for in d world is pure and geniune luv 4dm!
Indian women are unmatchd, in dr capacity to tolerate. Very bad, u must neva tolerate injustice, u suport it as u tolerate it in a way, bt d truth is most of d indian female ho suffr r prety much helpless! :( lck of educatn, confidnce, xposure, gftd 2dm by our society 4m centuries bk, our culture has many beautiful teachings, and as i appreciate d dpth, to wich d indian culture has evolvd, d more i stay shockd as i fail to undrstnd d same society that regards saraswati mata as d godess of knwldge, cnsidrs women r less smarter dan men! Ppl y do v 4gt smartness is a bg word, as u sideline sum1 caln hm a fool jus coz d persn in considratn doesnt match ur level in a specifc field u show ur idioticity. Bullshit, dat gals r nt as intelignt as guys. If dis wr true it wud hav bn a wel knw fct! D society ho worships lakshmi mata 4 being d godess of prosperity, proposes women to accept dy r les impo dan men, n d society dat worships kali mata, fls women r weaker dan men! Emotional strength is no lesser dan physical. And d power to sacrifice, to forgive is an atribute of just d strong! Respct gvn to sum1 mus b earnd by d persn n those ho live life 4 others deserve respect! Giving thyself less importance, think of hw many times d women around act as d unsung heros! U fl dy are unreasnbl, nt prctical, hypr n 2emtional, thank god 4dat or most of u wud hav bn screwdup big time had gals nt bn emotnal fools 2 forgv ur . Luv d gals in ur life, respct dm, knw dy r special!
I m simply so proud to b an indian gal! Xtrmly honord 4 al d softness and strength. 4 d determination n dedication. 4 respect gvn 2 others n d dignity maintaind! For d sacrifice 4d luvd 1s. 4 being d hope and happiness, i salute d desi gal!
Dekh lakh lakh pardesi gal, ain't nobdy like my desi gal! :)

~Evolution~

2009-06-02T04:25:00.000-07:00

Evolution
Today morning, as I was going to my college with dad, I asked him the meaning of two lines from the ‘mul mantra’ from ‘the gurbani’ that is the words from gurugranth sahib, the holy book of Sikhs….the lines spoke of how great god was the one who manages everything, the one who defines time and energy, the almighty, our creator, caretaker, protector and soon enough I got into a discussion with papa on praying to god and how man has evolved through all the time that has passed by….

Most of us visit temples, churches, mosques, gurudwaras or other religious places as per our religion. We pray to god and often demand an endless number of things. We have our complains, we ask him for strength, the right path, we accept some mistakes and apologize, we thank him…we simply go on… Things don’t happen the way we want always, and thank god for this. All that happens in our life is thru his approval, his wish and he knows what is best for us, the problems and the solutions, are of the dimensions we can handle well for sure. The happenings all measured and scaled! So why is it that we demand so much from god, complain so much to him about life? Why do we crib about the small discomforts? Why do we shut our eyes to the big picture? Life is but a journey with many ups and downs and with all the adventure we face in life one thing is very important…evolution!

We take birth, get educated, work hard, enjoy with family n friends, till we learn to evolve --there is no use of such a life!
Evolution is growing! As a child you demand, when you stop demanding and start giving, you grow up! There are some people who get happiness wherever they go, and some of them get happiness whenever they go! ;D and yes a third category consisting of a majority people is of those whose existence does not matter - to them or others around them….never mind *sigh* these people!
Evolution gets immense happiness, the more you know, the better you handle…problems and issues of your life and of others around you! You can contribute to your being, when you evolve!

Hey, you know man was an ape, he evolved. He stopped using his tail and it vanished. As a law of nature, what is used less absolves itself, use your resources! Growup, take charge! EVOLVE!

the call i'll alwz rmbr

2009-05-19T22:35:00.000-07:00

We having conferences is something really common in college. There were times like olive’s birthday when about 10-15 ppl were on the conference together! Speak of how much our gadgets have advanced from the pigeons messages to our cellfones! Last nite I had a conference on the fone, that got left me in deep thot for a long time even after I kept the fone down!

College has changed all of us in a way! I kno jay since the firsdt grade and guggs since the eigth grade and I remember my frens well of wot they were just one year back and I see them today as ppl ho have changed all in a beautiful way!
Last year this time, I had not even imagined two of my bestest frens will soon have to go so far from here! It was still predictable of jay’s decision to go to kota. But I remember I was just not able to digest the fact guggs will not be here ny longer for 3 whole years! All thru the days before she left I had not realized she’ll be leaving and all the times I told her I know u’ll do it and you’ll be abvsolutely fine there….it was only wen I cem back home after meeting her for the last time till next vacations, I realized she is not gonna be here, no more calln up n asking Vir, gugga hai? No more meetings at sp for a long time n I burst up crying! I just din want her to go! I was already missing jay and I din wann guggs to go! I was soo wishing I cud stop her!
Today as I spoke to them . I was all quite jus listening to them as both of them spoke of their hostel life and new frens! Of how they had learnt to value their family and friends wen distances came up. Both of them had becum so mature!
I silly said sumthn I wudn have usually said, as they finished, that mite have made them feel I dun understand, (i do this alwz just say crap, I dun mean. I dun intend to at the the time I just dun have to! :-S) said dat den coz I wasnot used these two extremely strong headed, very practical ppl sayn wot they did! But I realized later, in life maybe u grow strong in true sense wen u understand ur inner self, wen u connect to ur self, wen u make connections thru ur heart, wen u value your feeling in the right way. My frens had cum bak after growing so strong! =)
Living in a foreign country, whr u dun undrstand wot majority of dm spk, dy dun get u, dy dun care, getn frnz who treat u lik fmly, who frm wakn up, stay wid u, by u, 4u... I m so happy guggs found clivley, jus so hapy, 4al d emotnal suport, i m glad coza hm, she liks it dr in hk. Wen i learnt guggs nw remvs tms each day, to write 2clive n wilsn, i was yet again so proud of hr, say i m hapy 4 hr,n nt jus dat, i wantd 2hug her tite n let dat spk al i cudn xprs. Jay was one persn ho was alwz so indpndnt, stil as she said, she huggd her parents 10 tms a day, n sudnly in kota she realisd dad's not around her nylonger, aww... I love u yar 4 wot u guys spoke n hw u spoke : n i m so hapy d maturity cem in n how! I hav bn jus thnkn bout it d whol nite n since morn, n dis is d first tm, i ain't fln lik sayn sory 4 behavn wierdly, n nt as i truly fl, im jus happy, wid nu change in my frnz, i m jus luving dm mor dan ever, i knw dy'l undrstand, i dun hav to spk n it doesnt get betr =)
Missing hugs, good food, emotional support, nah maybe yes I wudn understand, coz I din go thru it, but theres just one thing I know, I value and respect their feelings. It troubled me wen I heard they were in pain during the initial time, wen I learnt they missed home badly, it made me feel really happy wen I learnt they had found friends to support them, a new family far away from here!

We generally dun give a thot to things related to our feelings, tho they affect us a lot! Being practical at all times sumwhr maybe takes us away from our feelings. But life jus show us how to value things! We as humans even after all said and done do take things simply for granted! Our parents advice. Our siblings love and affection even as we fight with them! I alwz knew my family was special, these two made me realise this fact jus all the more!

As kids, our friendships and our priorities alwz are different. As time passes, far before we understand we growup. Life makes us growup! The relations made now stay, coz they are simply meant for being there! The relations that are formed now rise from deep within your soul and literally conquer and capture a place in your heart to alwz stay there! A common forward I have received many times is ‘I may be far but I care!’ today I realised a new meaning to this line! You dun have to say things from now on, you just feel them! Close your eyes n ur loved ones are their in your heart, you can actually communicate! You no longer take efforts to have the formal sorrys and thankyous. no longer you need to say ‘v’l stay in touch’ for bonds have made been formed already! You want it, dun want it, you have it, and you know you treasure it!

Friends are ppl far more important than their casual attitude and care-free style makes them appear. Isn’t it strange, ppl we take the least care to make a relation with. Ppl with you are the most casual. Ppl u dun care talking all crap bout. Are ppl who become soo dear! The sitting together in class, walking bak home with, the ppl tiffins are shared with and so also the sugar-cane and lemon juices! Ppl you jus talk and talk to, you gossip and bitch to, you msg n call at odd times,ppl you hangout with, ppl you spend time with, you give them a part of your life that will never return empty, but all filled and decorated with the most meaningful things if you give it a thot! Each one of your friend helps you create the story of your life, the story you will narrate to your grandchildren! =)
Friends are life!
This one is specially for my lukhas…. I learnt friendship in its true sense first with you guys, rite from the BCTS days, WHEN we shared our dreams, TO today when we are working towards accomplishing them! The ‘I’ became ‘ we’ coz of u all! I learnt the additional meanings of the word friend that connect to my soul coz of you, and you yourself know how much this friendship matters to me and you. I’ll alwz remember the conference we had last nite
I simply wanna say …
I JUST SIMPLY LOVE YOU GUYS! You are the best thing that ever happened to me! I swear!
GOD BLESS ………..TAKE CARE

:-S

2009-05-15T02:13:00.000-07:00

*sigh*
i dun knw whr 2 start 4m! Sumthngs hapnd, in d past fw months dat i m realy fln very uncmfrtbl bout. These thots kp cumn 2my mind, dy r realy distrbn me and 4 one last tm by writn dis post i wana clear it, n dn leave d past as past!

Sometms u just with al ur efforts screwup ur life. I did dat, n i mus tel u, i did it prety well, jus dat it hapnd unconsciously! I told ya i hate to go wrong... N i did it! I dun hw did i let it hapn, how cud i get so dumb? I stil rmbr teln guggs plz dun change b4 she joind ecole, she did it so well n i, stoopid, useless, idiotic i - let it hapn 2me. I so lik d persn i m, i m a diff individual, i am me! N jus how cud i change?

The more i think bout it, i realy fl so horribly pathetic! I did fl sumthn was wrong, wen evrythn around me was messing up. I e1 remembr teln a colg fren once dat i dun thnk, i m being able 2 project myself, d way i am! Had i said, man, dis is nt me... I hope a bel wud hav rang in my head to tel me... Aahh! I m changing!

Ppl around me, kpt gvn me sugestns, rather i kpt askn 4 suggestns so unecesarily! I din nd dm, it jus told me hw deep d ppl around me were! My original self had realisd al thngs said wid more dpth, long bak... Bt i was slpn toh hw cud i thnk! N wen i got advice i jus got irritatd n said 'mujhe yeh pata hai' X-Pawww... i wud get so hyper!Sumtms sum statemnts by frens wud giv temp. Relif bt i cudn stck to sumthn outa cmpulsn 4 long na... Toh shit! I had screwed up evrythng! :((

weneva i rmbr d outing at mamamia's bandra, i get goosebums it al strtd 4m dr! :(

well! I dun care wot ppl thnk bout me... D fact dat i let my self get lost. I shudn hav. realy makes me angry at myslf! Mosta u mite nt hav realisd, coz i was stil 5n. Bt i knw i realy got onto d nerves of sum of u out dr.
i m sory! I knw gugs n shwe wil nt allow me 2say dis, coz dy knw me mor dan i myslf do, n dy knw i hav sufrd sabse jyada coz of my hyperness (wndr if hyperness is a word! ^.~) bt hey ya awesum 2, thanks 4 hearng me cmplain. Gs thanks 4 sayn d 1statement u made n sory s2... Jus avehi!Nw i jus hope i'l b ble to put thngs bk in ordr! *sigh*

p.s. kya vaat lagayi thi yar, mein khudki. Lolseriously.. Just got savd! :- :-S

EXAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-14T23:59:00.001-07:00

Everyone of us have faced it! When exams come the world around you suddenly becomes all colourful…the television has new films showing, the mind feels like wandering around…the body feels tired, you feel so sleepy as if you had never slept before in life and the fights of to do or to just leave it till later become so intense that the whole confusion of mind makes you even more tired….
You feel like talking on the phone for even longer time, messaging ppl more frequently, drawing, scribbling, solving the crossword… in short you feel like doing everything else possible except studying!

Why does this happen everytime? Why the lack of the much needed inspiration?
Awww… I just don’t feel like studying. I swear yarr, I m so royally bugged!
Hmm … come exams and this does not happen impossible! Not that you have no goals in life, not that you don’t have responsibilities, but everything seems so in the favour of making you not study during the preparatory leave! haina?
*sigh* What you expect me to express my thoughts on this?? That’s it yarr! aUr kya bolu? Even I dun feel like studying! Wot else do I say? Got no solution! Soo…. U feel like dun feel like just study! Take efforts! One more effort each time! Dun think bout your colleagues, batch mates, classmates, vot ur parents expect and how u wish marks wud be gifted!
God doesnot help in increasing your marks for sure…its just you ho can help you…I guess try liking vot u r doing….all the best!Psstt…you got no other option besides….so all the best to fite ur bordom ppl!
All the best for your xams…the world may or maynot understand you pain, but I do! Take care! :D
C ya den….after my xams get over!

p.s.
I mean dun actually believe dis ok?I will definitely blog even during xams! wHo can stay serious for one whole month…well not me atleast! :D Chao!

i m sorry

2009-05-12T05:36:00.000-07:00

‘nobody is prefect !’ As humans all of us do commit our share of mistakes, and our mistakes infact act as our lessons. We learn from our past, and improve. That is also a reason we learn history! In short… ’It is human to err’ and it is 5n if you falter as long as you learn from your mistakes and don’t repeat them again…
I well I hate going wrong! I hate people challenging my decision…and I myself never regret on any decision I have made and I often suggest this to olive too that never regret your decision, spend time forming it but once formed stick to it against the hardest of situations! Hey btw ‘decisions’ are different than ‘opinions’…which you can for sure change! so even if there were another bettr option which I might not have choosen, complaining to my decision by me is a strict no-no!
I hate commiting mistakes! Weird huh?? But dats how I am…And the more I hate making a mistake, the more I messup with things. Besides if you are amongst the people who have tried to prove me wrong, you will know,if every you have succeeded….know this I do get annoyed but I dun show instead I apologize immediately!
I will feel too bad for going wrong that i try to do all I can, to mend my mistake not just learn from it…I feel guilty and it is not that easy for me to forgive myself for it! And if that were not enough, I believe once I have not acted in the most appropriate way, the best thing that can be done is admit your mistake, and work hard to repay! I was really cool with this however that I do keep the guts to say yes I have gone wrong even though I hate it, and do something to coverup for my mistake!

Its nice for sure if you can take responsibilities for things that you do but there is an issue here!
Quite sometimes in life, issues and events that happen are not that big. In the daily routine of yours as we move about, we have our many encounters with different people, different situations, and if there is a situation involving me in it and it goes wrong, I feel I m at a fault! Ahh… heard the hindi idiom…’Taali ek haath se nahi baajti’? sooo…if der is something rong I could have acted more sensibly huh?and I did not…omg…wot a fool am i…I must say…*I m sorry*

Sorry is a such a word, that we use really often in our lives..ek sorry bolne mein kya jaata hai wud think i?!
But now I realize ki yarr…jaata hai..bahot kuch jaata hai when you bloody say a s-o-r-r-y!
Today the saying ‘to err is human, to forgive divine’ has an addition to it….it goes ‘to err is human, to forgive divine, but to admit your mistake is a blunder!’ X-P
If you say sorry, quite you sound to people (err…unless ppl around you do make a lil bit use of the itsy-bitsy brain they have!i mean this never happens between me, guggs, jay, shwe , ush and other frens of mine) as a person who is soo wrong that he has no option left in hiding and defending his mistake that he has to actually admit it! Wot nonsense?
Say sorry and it comes all upon you, ppl dun think if you are really at a fault, and how big or small is ur mistake! my god the hazards of not thinking are growing by leaps and bounds every moment!!soo much for a seemingly harmless sorry!
Well, I learnt there is needed a right amount of balance here too! May be say sorry when you are really really wrong, and to ppl who do have the sense to understand…yarr… why can’t ppl jus respect the fact that it takes courage to admit your mistakes…seriously why cant we accept good, why are we soo cynical? Such pessismists?!

*this blog is all thanks to a brainless and super dumb friend of mine ho made me feel soo pathetic for saying sorry to her!*
*Sigh*

I M RICH...

2009-05-09T21:54:00.000-07:00

You become wotever you are because of her, you owe everything in your life to her. She is the reason you are alive…You can have nothing better than her..she is your angel, your god…
Words can bind the beauty of the sky, the magnificence of the monuments built, words can describe everything but love. Love to me is vot I learnt from her.Care to me is vot I learnt from her! Relations I learnt from her to manage! My belief, my hope rose from her!I would have learnt walking anyways she showed me the right direction to take my steps!I would have been feeded anyways, and given schooling, she gave me my reason to study, my inspiration!If there is anything beautiful in this world it is her love, if there is anything pure IT is her intentions, anything honest is her care…She choose me on her life, she is why I still can smile, she is why I m still alive! Morning to morning her life roams around me! Never does she act selfish! She is always there whenever I need her!
I have never seen her giving sermons, or lectures! She simply believes in working…day in day out she can handle soo much, without getting tired without getting bored! She says I m stubborn, but I have not seen any ho can stick to their commitment so well! She can forgive just so easily! Endless have been the situations, she has faced, never once I felt the fire in her has reduced! She will work for others..she helps ppl beyond my level of understanding! Her left hand does not know, what her right donates! She is just simply unbelievable! Sooo powerful!
You do all things in life as per your understanding, but something needs to support you before you develop your understanding, I had her, and hence I won, and I know I shall as long as she is with me, I shall win in life for she is my luck, my charm, I m rich because I have her…I m rich…very rich!
I earned this wealth this is how …She taught me how to speak, and I lied to her this year, not once not twice but I dun remember how many times…as I preferred going out with friends and I knew she would not allow! I lied each time I spoke on the phone inspite of she not liking it, when I said ‘bus abhi fone aaya hai!’ and spoke not thinking once of how I…
I thought she is just not understanding that I do know my responsibilities and can play them well! I thought it was fine, just fine to say the itsy-bitsy lies! I thought of me just me…I neglected my thoughts for her because she had also always done the same, neglected her and lived just for me!
I yelled at her, when I did not get things done my way. I fought with her. I did not help my sister! I gifted my time to my cellfone over my responsibilities at home! I acted soo unreasonable! There was a time, she smiled just because of me, today I made her cry!

Why do we grow? Why do we get this ability to think…why do we change…Why did I forget? How did I neglect? How could I ignore? Just how did I come so far…Just why did I listen to everyone, except my heart…Just how did I get lost in the jungle of all virtual things! All thoughts challenged! All routes of thorns! All ppl who deceive! The more I need her, the more I have made myself away from reaching her!
Money can be earned, fame, resources never too difficult to achieve! You get anything and everything in life, just that you need to be a person worth it! You become worth it when you value what you have! Nobody can become successful alone! You need help, support.We need to take efforts to grow but its never just our efforts that are working! It is simply our parents who have made us this big! Leave alone all the countless troubles they take for you, know this you cannot stay happy by if your god live with sorrow!
Simply a minute will be sufficient to bring the realization of how much, she has done, and she does for you!
She has helped me form my world!
If any1 in my lifetime has believed I m good, has appreciated my efforts, has said something nice…I swear she deserves the credit for I have learnt all the good I have from her! All my successes in life till now are coz of hers!

MUMMA, I LOVE YOU
YOU ARE THE BEST THING IN MY LIFE!
I BELIEVE THERE WILL BE NOTHING BIGGER FOR ME TO ACHIEVE, IF I CAN SOMEDAY EVEN BE 50% OF WHAT YOU ARE!
I M SORRY FOR HURTING YOU
I DONOT KNOW LIFE WITHOUT YOU!
MOM I LOVE YOU!
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
TC

SMS

2009-05-04T08:16:00.000-07:00

*If god gives me 24hours b4 death, i will spend 23.55
min wid u and in d last 5mins
i will......
press ur neck and say"lets go together"
dats friendship!

*I m lamp, ur light
I m coke, u r sprite
i m sawan, u r badal,
i m normal, u r........
also normal...
kya yarr khud pe shaq krte ho??

*d relations which require effort 2b maintained r never tru n if
the relations r true
they never require any efforts 2b maintained!

*My friendship is not like rain, which pours and goes away...
but like AIR, sometimes silent but always around you

*I may be buzy in d things i do,
but i'll never 4gt sum1 like u,
so i'm keepn in touch to let u kno
my frens r mor often in my heart dan i show

*Luv is not an xam to pass or fail
luv isn a competition to win or lose
but it is a fln to show u care 4 sum1 more dan urself

*Bindaas soneka, rapchik sapne dekhne ka
BHoot se nai darne ka, bole toh aina nai dekhne ka!
aur bindaas blanket odh k. fultus soo janeka...!
bole to gudnite!

*How to make a kid xtrmly smart, intelligent, active, sweet, innocent, loveable, beautiful??
bettr ask my parents!

*2 seater helicopter crashed in a 'kabristan' in punjab
Next day's news
PUNJAB MEIN HELICOPTER GIRA...SARDARO NE 250 LASHE DHUND K NIKALI OR BHI TALASH JAARI HAI!

*10 mins of talkn to an intelliget person is equal to reading GK books for a whole day. so feel free to call me anytime

*U can impress anybody with your talent, style, smartness, intelligence, and attitude and if dats not enuf, only tell dem u r my fren!

SMS

2009-05-04T08:13:00.000-07:00

OK I M CRAZY BOUT D SOO MANY MESSAGES WE SEND AND RECEIVE SOO HERE ARE A FEW OF THE MANY OF THE MESSAGES I RECEIVED....THEY ARE NOT ALL DAT GREAT....BUT STILL....I M POSTING IN ALL OF DEM......

*wen a black cat falls down...vot does the white one say?
.......................................................................................................
dun think like an intelligent person, it will only say MEOOWW!!!

*If you find a friend better dan me, go ahead...i wun stop you, but
wen dat person leaves, u luk behind, i'll be der 2say......................
"Marli hooshiyaari? chal aaja wapas!"

*6 FACTS on earth
1.U can't touch all ur teeth, wid ur tongue
2.After reding this all fools will try it
3.Now u smile coz u hav bcum a fool
4.Now u wish to fool ur frens
5.So u forward it to all fools
6.Fact1 is false

*A lil less ego n more understanding
a lil less argument and more concern
a lil less xpectation n more care
keeps relations sweet! hey!!!!!!

*A good plan of 2de is btr dan a gr8 plan of tomorrow,
luk bakward wid satisfaction and forward wid confidence!

*Alibaba aur chaalis chor the, ab alibaba aur 30 chor ho gaye...
poocho kyu?.....................................................................................
recession boss!
10chor ko nikal diya...cost cutting ;)

*NURSE: Mubarak ho aapk ghar beta paida hua hai!
SANTA: wah g wah kya technology hai, biwi hospital mein aur
bacha mera ghar pe paida hua hain :D

*Gile shikwe na dilse laga lena
kabhi maan jana to kabhi mana lena
kal ka kya pata hum ho na ho
jab b moka mile thoda has lena thoda hasa dena! :)

*A bird flying in d air is luck
but a paper plane flying in the air is effort
so dun wory if LUCK doesn support
EFFORTS r urs coz actions spk louder
(Wierd?? huh!?)

*Luv never dies
it remains........
for ever and ever and ever....!
only prtners changes, so keep
luving the latest!

*Luv and friendship r walking in a village
luv falls down in a well
Y??
coz....luv is blind!!! (X-P *phbtttt......*)
Friendship also jumps insaide the well...
Y??
angaat masti (:D)

*Galileo:Great mind
Einstein:Geneous mind
Newton:Extraordinary mind
BillGates:Brilliant mind
you: Never mind!!

MISSING teachers X-P

2009-05-04T08:11:00.000-07:00

Teachers are the souls that deserve importance greater than god himself. A teacher removes darkness and lights a lamp that shows a direction towards the right path. We learn, we know and we gain wisdom due to them. They are the most important contributors to our being and they deserve all the honour and respect for the noble cause they have accepted and are playing, to guide and mould so many individuals!
Colleges and schools should be all the fun they are due to many reasons but the one reason our parents send us there is, dey believe, schools and colleges have 'teachers'! LOL! ;)
Colleges and schools today are synonyms to places you go to get a degree! We go there make new frens, learn to break rules, have fun, enjoy and learn the recent trends and discuss the lastest news with friends and colleagues! Attendance in lectures and practicals is forced coz the recent generation is simply careless and doesn kno vot working hard is, coz they dun kno vots rite and vot not 4 dem, for dey just wanna njoy and marks in xaminations come from heaven, gifted.....colleges have bcum equvivalent to just big names, bcoz of d good students is just such a not tru fact....Well i guess even the university knos dat if attendance weren't made compulsary, der wud hardly be ny students attending the lectures! And as every action has an equal and opposite reactions, breaking rules nowadays is not just something u do for fun, but it has bcum a necessity!
The knowledge is for sure gained in colleges, but it is mostly from things that happen wen lectures r not happening or in lectures from the mistakes some supposedly grown-up group of ppl! it is simply dat ur daily experiences with frens, the fun and freedom somewhr is 1 big reason goin to colleges has not been banned by students!We study hard during xams and the sem goes in all the things it does to students!
A student was asked 2 write a sign board 4 d traffic near the college. He wrote 'drive carefully! dont kill the students. wait for the teachers!'
A teacher is a source of inspiration, ho shows you that u must play votever role u get, with your best efforts in it, a teacher shows understanding and knows y a student behaves the way he does, a teacher knows how to inculcate in his\her students, a love for learning! Well, the reality of the times is far different! it is assumed that the students go for classes and hence a lil less effort wouldnot make a difference....it is assumed students today are just not worth teaching...it is assumed today that teaching is something,ppl rejected from market do.....it is assumed that assumptions are needed!*sigh*Teachers are lost 2de, lecturers take their places.
Wen times change, there are needed even more sources that could show the right direction to ppl....you need sum1 to guide and help you set your feet firm in the ground....u need teachers! i would wonder as a child of how could some1 even say something bad about your teacher, and yes i still agree to dat....bcoz the pl ho stand today b4 us are just not teachers! every person is different, and has a different perspective! lecturers 2de may be real good ppl in life, but life gets tuf wen you search and search harder but find no reason to sit and listen to the crap yes crap you are being forced to listen delivered by dem.
Respect is not forced or imposed, it comes from within! How do you expect ppl to respect individuals ho donot show any traits to even carry any respect.....
Sad but true this is the reality! and it is in this reality you have the affairs of the society going haywire! every individual these days feels and knows in his heart that der mite be something rong in the affairs happening around,dat things are not goin the way they should.....human mind often knows things but v need help in changing our knowledge to our wisdom!And a need for good teachers is more dan necessary now!
We have an issue but it still isn't dat bad coz u can now just possibly have a solution to the issue! dun let ur schooling interfere with your process of gaining wisdom...coz it is not the lack of knowledge that is the cause of the current scenario for we even have terrorists ho are doctors and engineers!

Well ppl say,"Wen the student is ready, the teacher appears", and dad says,"you must try to learn something from everything dat happens around u, n every individual ho is around you", and i guess dats vot we must accept and move ahead! plz give things a thot coz today the side-effects of not thinking b4 you act can be disastrous to extents you cannot even imagine dem to be!
TAKE CARE!

feeling good

2009-04-21T12:43:00.000-07:00

dis is my fifth blog today, actually first today for its 1am now
i m feeln so good for finding a way to xpress my thots....and fln nice dat i cud finally be honest in putting things d way dey are, in not cutting and modifying the turth....
i m happy ppl ho read dis will kno wot i actually feel and may be after a long time ppl will get vot i mean!
*sigh*
i m soo tired now and tomorrow is a long day! but i jus dun fl like doin anythng else....my fone is switched off, books kept aside, i got journals to be corrected, submissions to ber made, but der is a smile on my face n within me a feeling of comfort
i m happy i started blogging

be me

2009-04-21T12:11:00.000-07:00

i happened to read a post by a friend on childhood and dis is wot i got to say....

i remember running out of my school gates full of joy, walking back home, jumping in puddles of water, doin my homework and den going to the garden wid either mom or dad or both....
i remember hoping d only swing in the small garden near my house to be empty, and i remember each time d swing went up and back again the butterflies in my stomach.....i remember walking out of d park and asking mom for a balloon..... dun jus kno wot happiness it gave carrying a rubber polymer filled wid carbon dioxide gave me! but i remember being soo happy den, wen i din kno wot happiness meant!

today i have changed soo much and each of us do....but how!
the joy of spotting an aeroplane in d sky, running like a just freed animal, dancing in the rain, crying like hell wen mom wud scold and just wishing i grow up fast was my childhood....
i din kno rite or rong but i still did no rong to others.... i wud fear buying a chocolate of 50paise wen my mother wud ask me to get some vegetables from the market without her permission! i cudn look in her eyes wen i tried lying to her, wud feel so guilty on doin even a small thing rong!
i knew i din need to worry, i knw i cud behave however i wished to, dat i was not expected to show i care and prove it to the world, i knw my priorities well den and der was no issue in living life, yes my priority to smile to listen to my mother and den the world....i din have to think about whom to trust and whom to ignore... i didnot know the word ignore! every thing brot a smile on my face
a chocolate was d ultimate gift, i din kno wot a diamond pendant was, neither did it matter, i luved to stand and stare at the birds lifting off for flight, i luved sitting on the beach not knowing politics to discuss and criticize! i luved to dream, i believed i cud do everything and anything in the world, i believed my dad was the wisest man alive on earth, i believed no body cud harm me till my mother is around, believed my sister was a gift 4m god to me!
my teacher was alwz rite and i believed her wen she said 'a' cums before 'b' and 'b' before 'c'!
i feared going to school without having my tables learnt!i feared to not obey my elders, back replying was a sin...
lifes changes soo much but y?
i still wud wish to live life my way, a life full of innocence, i dun wan to think about wot is rite and wot not, i dun wanna smile wen i feel lik crying.....and i dun wanna prove my thots, my beliefs...i dun need any1s suggestions on how do i live my life! i dun wan ppl around me to prove me rong, i dun wan any explaination and i dun wanna understand, i jus want freedom.....i dun need statements from the newspaper, i dun need 'chill's and 'sorry's i dun wanna think b4 i acted, i dun wanna growup now
i dun wanna have insecurities, how i wish i cud just believe dat ppl hum i like will not hurt me, will not ditch me.i dun wanna kno wot ego is....i dun wanna have grudges, i wanna forgive, i wanna take a break!
i wanna believe in all things being beautiful, in santa claus, in faries, i wanna believe i m a princess and dat i will hav a fairy godmother...dat wen i kno i m rite and i desparately need help, i will not have to approach ppl ho make me regret sking dat help! i wish i had sumbdy to fite for me jus me, sum1 i cud totally rely on.... i wanna share a secret and promise my fren it wud never cumout till death, i dun wanna be logically correct alwz....
i wanna fly, i wanna sing, i wanna shout, i wanna run, fly a kite, believe dat i can conquer the world, believe in my dreamz and not think if dey are rational....i dun wanna care about vot u feel bout me, i wanna kno u like me for vot i am as an eternal truth......i just wanna be me!

i like....

2009-04-21T10:12:00.000-07:00

so now dat u kno wot i dislike dis is vot i like.....
1. I luv my mom calling me by my nick name n my younger sis calling me 'manna'
2.I luv my family and friends
3.I luv ppl ho like living der life for a good reason!
and besides i like....
1. the first drops of rain and the sweet smell of the wet earth
(sound so typical...i kno but its soo true)
2.spotting a star in the night sky! man! Star gazing drives me crazy!
dun believe me as i say dis but it does lift me off my feet....I feel soooo happy and all excited wen i see a star! Makes me feel outa the world...:)
3.oohhh.... I luv INDIA
aaaahhh! i m one proud indian...spk anythn not good about my nation n i'll show you....
No other country stands in comparision for me b4 India
globalization and 1world are nice things but sum whr in my heart (m sory i cant help it)
i jus kno 1 thing.....saare jahan se aacha hindusitan humara
Jai Hind!
4.I luv MUMBAI
woohhhh i kant describe how rocking dis place is......
i'll rite a separate blog for it
5. next i luv water! yup H2O!
i luv waterfalls, streams, rivers, lakes, ponds, the ocean! simply luv water!
6. flowers
any flowers will do, dey are soooo beautiful
7. colours
i m crazy behind colours, ny colours...pastels, wax crayons, water colours, oil paints, fabric, acrylic just ny colour
(for frens: hint- gift me flowers or preferentially colours)
8. taking a walk wid frens at shivaji park
ppl dun get it, why d craze....well cum to sp sumde aaram se wid me n my frens n u'll kno jus y v luv this place
9.icecreams
my college frens kno d best my craze for having ICECREAMS!!!!
10. I LOVE LIFE
it rocks! inspiteof all dat happened and all i still may have to face.....life is beautiful!
:)

Dislike

2009-04-21T10:11:00.000-07:00

In life
1. I hate men who disrespect women
2. I hate d women ho still repect such men
3. I hate cheaters, back biters, frauds X-P
and besides i dislike.....
1.ny1 waking me up 4m deep sleep
2.physics lectures of fe tronics
3.ppl spitting on roads! eeewww.....
4. waiting for ppl
5. being rite and not being able or getting a chance to put my point across
6.ppl ho showoff beyond a limit
7.ppl ho think to much of demselves and in turn say sumthn to simply humiliate others not as good as dem in dat field
(Y forget evry1 is gifted wid sum talent!)
8.ppl ho dun believe me as i spk d truth
9. ppl ho like hurting others jus for fun
10.d word 'hate'
its too harsh wen you actually mean it....:)

COMPLAINTS

2009-04-21T10:03:00.000-07:00

We are all so well aware of the fact that,life moves on. Each of us have our own share of ups and downs. In the end everythings gets fine! but only if knowing was enuf!

Small things, small events, small are the moments dat pass, few of dem make us smile and when things dun turn as we had expected them to, we have on thing to make- a complaint!

Expecting things is a quality we inherit on being born as humans! :P
We say one must not expect, but like the many things we jus know but we havnt followed in the true sense, we expect!
We expect ppl around us to behave the way we hav judged dem, dey way we want dem to, the way dey cud make us feel good rather correct even if we ourselves wudnot have behaved in such a way! No mattr how silly this seems now, wen wot we expect doesnot happen, we feel upset and we den have a COMPLAINT!

Wen we dun forget to advice others to chillax on der issues, we often forget our own words when the tables turn! Wen we falter in our duties in a relationship, we are human...wen others go wrong they dun care! wen we messup things, we xpect others to understand but d person we hold a complaint against should possibly have no reason for his behaviour according to us! It is sad but true, our nature as humans of dis century is very cynical!
We just cannot accept that may be ppl around us r not dat bad, maybe dey have other things to do dan just annoy us or hurt us. We dun allow relations to have basic trust and understanding in dem. We find it so hard to accept we may also be WRONG! We find it easier to Complain and even more unfortunate is the fact we just complaint never do something about it!

A very important truth however is that, you dun generally complaint to strangers
(errr....about ur relationship problems, railways, electricity complaints go to useless strangers) you complain to and against only ppl you have given a place in your heart, against ppl ho matter to you :)

Wen you try hard and things dun turn the way you want them to , you complain! :
When you feel you are being taken for granted you complain, wen you are hurt maybe but you dun wanna take a revenge, wen you dun wanna hurt the 1 anyhow who has caused even discomfort or even pain you complain! Just to convey 'Hey! dun do dat! It hurts!'
You dun do dat just for ny1, you do it for the ones u dun wanna lose. you do it to convey, your feelings....you do it to reach!

(Accusing a loved 1 is however rong unless things have really gone messy, bcoz to accuse and to complain are two different words to have two different meanings!)

So complain but wid care, wen needed....Dun get on to the nerves of the other person!
Realize all dat you know. learn to FORGIVE!

It is not that tough to make new relations but very difficult to maintain them, very easy to lose them but important to understand it is just and just dese relations u need alwz in life....even if you have a complain
*keep smiling*
take care

AMBITION

2009-04-16T06:25:00.000-07:00

As a child we wish to grow up very soon and sumwhr in our hearts often decide that when i grow up, my life shall be like this....As grownups we change, our style of thinking, our preferances and thus knowingly unknowingly, close the path that may be we actually did sumwhr want to pursue, sumtime in life.....
i had my first group discussion in college about 'what is it exactly that influences students to select an option as their courier...' and i summarize it as dis at dis moment, those who want to do things differently donot get influenced and d 1s ho donot dare to dream independently can cling to any argument they find suitable to influence themhowever a thought that comes to me after this is till wen?
we all have a lauf wen v read 'i was born intelligent, education ruined me' but most of us donot wish to do anything about it, v let our schooling interfere wid our process of gaining knowledge...vot cums thru d syllabus seems sufficient, it gets u marks, a degree and money,living life ends there or may be as matti puts it 'gameach sampla'but how i wish v were to understand, the whole purpose of education is kno d difference between right and wrong....and had v known dat,v mite hav considered getting a change in our society, in things that are rong! we mite have considered living, not just surviving! we mite hav considered, dat der is sum point in having the courage to be wot v are, to do sumthing dat we really wud hav liked to do and may be sumwhr we may consider getting a change!
change isn't easy but ain't it bettr to do sumthn rite dan jus follow a path taken over and ovr?how do we waste talent, dat can help contribute to improve living, in simply running behind things so superficial?how do we choose striving endlessly behind things dat ain't even certain dan living life?you get life once, how about living it fully? living it for u!
we are all so well versed wid phrases like 'cut throat competition' and 'rat race', and most of us despise it, but at sum point...how all of us becum and remain a part of it?!:)u cheat, u bluff, u go to any extent to earn money....u lie to frens of how much u study today, and in fture shall lie to others of how much you earn...paisa paisa just paisa.....it blinds you, leave alone helping others, ur money hunt leaves you not a humanbeing!WHY??to leave all this behind wen v die?is it bettr to hav stacks of money as we leave earth or ppl ho remember u as a good person?
just be yourself, kno your needs, wants and wishes never end...try getting your life for d use of sum1 else, try getting a smile on sum1s face, da my frens will be ur treasure....earn but donot kill yourself for it! nor ur conscience nor your thoughts...dun let d shimmer make you sumthn u dun deserve to be,kno dat u r soo beautiful a person and so unique, nobody else like you exists! BE YOU dats it!:)

MY TREASURE

2009-04-11T10:35:00.001-07:00

friendship is like a garden of flowers fine and rareit cannot reach perfection, without through luv n careden new n lovely blossoms, each new day appearfor friendship like a garden grows in beauty year by year
money doesn matter now, der r plenty of rich chaps, luks never did matter to dat xtent, wisdom...ppl dun understand it, i guess ur tru wealth is ur frens 2de!
der r many of us soo lucky to hav gems as our frens, me.....i cant thank god enuf 4 all my precious possessions i have in der form...
wen i cry, i hav more dan a shoulder to listen to me patiently each time n give me a solution, wen i smile dey smile saying dey r soo happy 4 me, ppl ho understand me mor dan i do, n ppl ho never leave me alone, as i sit 2de d countless memories of all d times of my life made soo special by all my frens cum to me, d fone calls n d messages, d meetings at sp n other places, d pranks, d fun, d fites n d patching up, d sharing secrets n stories, r all infinitesmially special,d way v call each others, d special 'hi's' n 'heylos', d 'high-fives', d pats on d back, d elbow of a fren, resting on ur shoulder,
i cant thank god enuf 4 gifting me my frens, each smile and greeting, d tone of d voice, d comfort received wen thngs get messy, d understanding ur thots, d 'i kno!' and d 'chalta hai yarr', d times wen i hav made a fool of myself and done thngs to embarace me, thnks guys 4 being der
d ice creams after collg, d sandwichwala outside ruparel, d gaane ka juice after arun roy classes, may seem so usual, but d times shared treasured, d hangouts at pheonix, d movies v didnot seen together, d arguments n disagreements, i can't imagine life widout dem and d endless list of things dat my frens do so many times 4 me, d never tiring ear to my nonsense, the help given soo many times and patience to hear me complain,it cannot be xpressed how valued dese thngs r, d advices given, and d suggestions asked all matter so much! to kno der r ppl ho lik u 4 wot u r, ho kno d person in u, ho kno d way ur heartbeats and ho do care 4 u in der own ways can do nothing less dan touch my heart and make me smile,
life is small and even smaller to live well, and friends add such a rich flavour to it, for all d times i hav been unreasonably stubborn or rude or 4 d times i hav taken u guys 4 granted, i apologize, for friendship roks n i value all u guys whether or not i may show, each one of u very dear to me, very very special!god bless! >>:D<<

CHILL!

2009-04-11T07:13:00.000-07:00

chill...d word i hear so frequently nowadayz 4m ho so ever i spk to, suri, guggs, shwe......al dat i do n all wot i say i get a word bak--CHILL!!!!!
well life has changed soo much n my adjustments to dese changes hav so not being d way dey shud hav been,school was awesum, i was as stupid but smarter dan d lot around me, heart still dominated head but it worked so well
now is a new world to enter n xplore now, new rules, new trends, and a new culture to understand, accept n follow...aaahhh..., ppl ho kno me say i hav changed a lot now n dat its 4 good however i so miss those dayz dat passed....now life is hell different,and dis quite obvious,problems strange,like handling a cold war in class or telling a fren its ok 4 sum others to not bhav well, to handle MISUNDERSTANDINGS and well see, nobody jugded u b4, now how u say, vot u say n wen u say all matters, ppl say dey trust u, dey dont, u say u trust dem and even u dun....as i stand here seeing all dat passing by so quickly, all i can do is wonder at d things n events n reactions to all dat happening around!
nothing affects any1 here, nor u nor vot matters to u, well it shudn to dose whm u dun kno but it sure must do to d 1s ho r supposedly ur frens, if u get angry, its ur problem, if u dun lik sumthng its ur damn problem again,u upset, handle it! u scared...toh? u cannot possibly xpect ny1 now to behave in a particular way! wot u say is not taken in as ur message now n d understanding dat helped ppl i knew kno my state of mind far b4 i spok vanished!dat is life! n dis may not be the complete picture but just a trailer of vot is to follows,u like it or u dun, doesn matter, u dun hav a choice in dat but yesu live it d way u wanmy life mite have seen changes and dose mite hav cum in lives of all of my frens, but dey r soo small before d 1s dat mite hav cum in d lives of well-jay in kota , of pranita in khadakpur n my poor lil guggs, in an all new country wid all strangers around, n my sweetheart all alone to handle d thngs, in collg too pp n ishu n joe (suri learnt it in kota) hav settled as hostellites n pgs amongst many others, and dey hav done so well, dey hav grown upand all of us will hav to continue, things will get introduced n hence shall seem different, u cannot stop d change so live it, tackle it patiently but first learn dis...'chill'
'Chill' is a word, dat annoyed me to a great xtent initially, it stood 4 sumthng so thanda, yaaa, sumthn so hollow, sensless n just so like a filler, wen u dun kno wot to say say chill but now i realise dis word roks! n i lik it for more dan 1 reason, 4 being so much sensible,yes sensible, 4 standing for d lines 'everythings gonna be alright' and even 'dun wory, be happy', i hav understood how do i take d word n give it a meaning and dat makes it such a pretty and smart word...so wen things n situations get messy, u dun kno vot is rite n vot not, chill! wen u get tired of d crap ppl around u r goin on wid, chill! wen u get misinterpretated n vot u dun wan, does happen chill!just chill!(thnks suri!)

wen luved 1s get ngry.....

2009-04-03T05:08:00.000-07:00

wenever you fall short nywhere in life, u get back on track most times very well wid the help of sum ho cares 4 u, sum ho likes u, sum1 4 hom u mattr, n u just cant thank those sum ppl enuf for being der, vot gets even more difficult dan d problem itself is wen any of dose few special ppl get angry wid u, get upset bcoz of sumthn u hav said or done,,,,,ppl ho care for you r special coz dey know u, accept you n like you 4 d person dat you are, and wen vot u do hurts dose special ppl, it gets very important to kno wot loss may follow n hence take care to coverup d differences!forgivness cums not easily at such times becoz its ur responsibility to understand ur priced possesions in d ppl who care 4 u and care 4 dem bak! and in most cases v do almost unknowingly, but ppl not only liked being luved but also prefer to kno dat dey r bein luved....so wen luved 1s get angry, let dem kno dat dey r d luved 1s in ur life,say sory n mean it n also say d truth as u state dat dey not being happy, gets u affected too,coz its not jus sad times dat need to be shared n stood by each other at, but times of joy too cannot be lived wid n felt wid unless u have ppl wid u ho really care n help protect ur smile...

my college life

2009-04-03T04:37:00.000-07:00

college dayz are full of activities done no where else,the life being an 18year old and being a student of an institute is unmatched.it starts wid smiles n ends wid memories....dat stay for years to cum in d future....be it good or bad, u learn, vich u alwz do thru life, but here d risk being not dat great,collg lifes stays more or less d same for every teenager turned adult,yet dis is how my engg coll life goes... my day starts at 7.00am(d 'am' is necessary believe me....) wid me leaving d house shortly for dadar station, dat has bcum 1 of d important places in my life, ppl everywhere, so many of dem leaving, so many entering, not counting d so many others dat hang from d locals dat pass thru d station, i guess every 20-30 secs....to meet my train gang...olive, ninja, donald n now a new member yogi(all of us hav not travelled together yet,till now), the train soon reaches andheri stn, a place yet again soo on d verge of bursting wid d amount of ppl der, to head 4 a ricksha hunt outside d station to reach bhavans campus, munshi nagar, where is d place i do d soo much commuting for- my college 'sardar patel institute of technology'! college day starts now wid d entering class n placing yours bags on d last benches, to greet almost everyone sitting in d class b4 leaving for our practicals, i never listen to d instructions being given around, my mind stays occupied in planning a mischief like slyly removing d wire dat connects d mouse or sumtms d monitor itself from d pc of a frensoo engrossed, in trying to act like he/she is listening in d cp lab, or may be filling sum apparatus wid water to sprinkle on every1s bak in d chem lab, v do d experiment alwz wrong d first one and a half hour n in d last half hour wen forced to take readings 4 a signature on den, make thngs quick to still jus copy dem 4m a neighbouring group, a3 dats wot is my batchs name is full of all d mischeif mongers of my class, i can call d life of our class wid all of d members being my frens, dis batch has a majority of my good frens n me so it roks, lest a sudden thot of bein sincere strikes us all of sudden, practicals go smoothly to head bal to d class for lectures and dat follows,v got d most boring teachers alive on planet earth,(exceptions prevail) ho try a lot but sadly jus endup trying to teach but all in vain as dey rnot even successful in catching n holding our attention for a span of more dan 30 secs! v hav paper ball fites, gossips, tiffins open n being passed, missed calls being given n received, yes received to plans being made4m d birthdays dat r heading to d lunch time adventures...a few lectures cum n go, a few just bcum successful in stopping time, ven all of us push it literally to save our souls 4m d seemingly never ending trauma, my lunch brk starts wid me finishing my tiffin wid d help(self invited) of my frens, after vich i head to d mess to jus give company to my frens ho live in d hostel or as pg's as dey hav der lunch, v walk bak lazily to d class to hav a discussion on sum topic, arguing over sumthng or d otherand trying to beat each other by words, d collg now has a lec or two to hav pracs again b4 a very impo part of d coll cums d walk 4m class room to d gate thru d campus meeting soo many ppl talking, talking n talking, buying an icecream deciding plans n submissions for d days to cum and reach d station eventually.... college life may not hav been d fun filled it is widout my frens, all of dem.... i get mad at dem at times, mess up thngs very often, but knowing d fact dey will b der to be by me wen i need dem, wenever, is a beautiful feeling to have, taking each others side, listening to complaints, speaking your heart out, my collg is jus lik a cumplt wrldin itself, v hav cold wars in our class, v hav ppl hom v favour, n ppl v dun lik, all blend to give 1 taste of dis life.....dat has changed soo much 4m vot it was to vot it is now.der will b times i will say i hate thngs, but times wen i will smile n say, college is not dat bad infact it roks soon to follow, to leave me wid 1 mor xperience in my voyage of discoveries!!:)

A start....

2009-03-25T05:14:00.000-07:00

well, i had heard of it, den i reads sum post of a very dear fren, n i thot i mite as well make a start towards riting....so here will be some random post 4m me, bout my life, my thoughts,my problems, my solutions and my opinions! u may or maynot agree wid dem, dats 4 u to decide.....
i m a very normal human being, yet very different in my own ways.....my issues r seen differently by me, my lessons learnt 4m experiences wierd, my style of thinking even more different.....if u do lik my notes read dem, if not do thngs u find better...so here m i lukn 4wrd 4 sum fun here by jus posting in 'my voyage of d small, silly but beautiful discoveries'